This is how a conversation with my bestest friend goes:

  • Aaren: Doesn't the cooking mama lady look like she'll dismember you, put you in a stwe, and eat you?
  • Me: Omg yes! She has the creepiest look on her face.
  • Aaren: Seriously. Those stars in her eyes are only because she wants to buttfuck your existance.
  • Me: OMG! Aaren she's going to buttfuck me with her wisk!!!! D:
  • Aaren: JOHN. DON'T LET HER DO IT.
  • Me: SHE'S MIXING THE BATTER NOW! WHAT AM I GOING TO DO!?!
  • Aaren: RUN JOHN. DON'T LET HER TOUCH YOU.
  • Me: I'M RUNNING AS FAST AS I CAN! I FEEL LIKE I'M BEING CHASED BY ZOMBIES! OMG AAREN SHE GOT ME!!! OH THE INHUMANITY!!! AND IT'S RED VELVET CAKE MIX!
  • Aaren: ....I will never look at red velvet the same again. Thanks John.
  • Me: Aaren, there are a lot of things I can't look at the same way again since meeting you that's just how it works with us.
  • Aaren: Haha. So true.
  • Me: Haha we're awesome! I'm hungry now....I'm going to bake a cake.
  • Aaren: ......Creepy
  • Me: That's what I aim for.